Many people are dreading spending Thanksgiving with relatives with whom they may not have a healthy relationship. University of Michigan psychology professor Stephanie Preston says its important to know your personal limits when it comes to engaging in topics like politics.

“It’s not maybe the time to work through a longstanding argument with somebody or bring up a topic you know you’re not going to be able to resolve around a Thanksgiving table,” Preston said. “So I think sometimes having at the ready a few phrases to deflect negativity or move the conversation along can be helpful, but know yourself and know your family. Everybody has a different threshold and tolerance.”

Preston says its important to focus on the theme of the holiday — being thankful for what we have and those we love that are in our lives.

Preston reminds everyone it’s important to not dwell on small issues this week